This is happening all to often

Once again there is another unarmed black teenager killed at the hands of law enforcement. Once again there are conflicting stories from eye witnesses and law enforcement on what really happened. Once again mothers and fathers are left without answers as to why their child had to be the one taken away. Once again we as a people ask the question why?

These type of situations are happening all too often. Michael Brown lost the right to live. Watching his mother tell the media how hard it was to get him to graduate from high school is heartbreaking. As black people we are all too familar with the blantant and even underlying disrepect we see as a people. It is easy to riot and vandalize but what will that do. I know it is easier for me to say such things since I have never been in the situation of loosing a family as the family of Michael Brown but all the rioting in the world will not bring that loved one back. So what do we do? We play smart. we already know the media will spin the story to sensationalize what they think is important but we as a people need to do the unexpected. Protest but do so peacefully. Ferguson, St. Louis is turning into the riots of the ’60’s. Lets not move back lets move forward!

To the family of Michael Brown, and all those families who have lost their loves ones by the hands of those who have been “trigger happy” my prayers are with you at this time. I hope that the anger and injustice that has been felt will be used in a way that produces real answers because this has to stop.

#theeverydaychronicles

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Watch “SERIES: FIRST” on YouTube

SERIES: FIRST: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLVo7nGot4fPjY4FdstC5d5DQ-4accPFIb

Its the end ofbthe week so I caught up on some facebook surfing and came across a post about a new webseries on youtube called “First” by Issa Rae.  For those who have seen the classic move Love Jones this has been deemed the modern day version.  I saw the first episode and I am ready for episode number 2.

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Thats what you call a relationship

Mar 11: I’m not the biggest fan of The Bachelor but Monday night I was flicking through channels and stumbled upon the “The Final Rose” episode of the Bachelor.

For those not familar with the Bachelor one man or women is chosen to be the Bachelor or the Bachelorette. A certain number of men or women come on to the show to vie for the affection of either the Bachelor of Bachelorette. Each week the Bachelor or Bachelorette give out a rose to the men or women they like until they get down to the final rose. Got it? Ok good.

This season’s bachelor was Juan Pabolo. Normally during these final rose episodes the couples profess their love and discuss finally having the chance to live their lives together and most importantly they are engaged and on their way to planning their wedding.

The show bring out the girl not chosen in the final rose ceremony and immediately I could feel the uneasiness. I zoned in and out but heard phrases such as “freaking out”, “offensive remarks” and of course ” he was not the man I thought he was,” I thought to myself maybe I need to pay attention and see what this is all about.

Next they bring out the woman Juan Pabolo chose. She is bubbling and full of life. The host of the show ask the particular questions and then gets into the topic of love . ” Has he said I love you?” I was confused obviously because I haven’t been following the season. I then hear a very pivotal piece of information. Juan Panlo didnt propose! The one thing that every girl looks for at the end of the season and in real life. Now this really got interesting.

The host then brought out juan Pablo. The host seemed very confused as well as the studio audience as to the nature of juan pablos new relationship since he didn’t propose. For Juan Pabolo it was about starting this relationship from this point on. Basically, date. Not plan a wedding , but take things slow and one day at the time. Huh? What happened to the blushing, saying when they would get married, determining whether ABC would televise the big day? None of that took place. Instead Juan Pablo demonstrated what most realistic relationships look like these days. I respect him for staying true to what he felt was right. How often do you see couples getting married after 3-4 months these days? Most relationships go a few years then a possible talk about “the next steps.” Juan Pablo mentioned several times he feels The girl chosen is a fabolus girl who he wants to start really having a relationship with. To me that was a real response. How often does the media question couples who come together on these dating shows to determine whether their relationship is really aithentic? Well Juan Pablo determined true authenticity to me.

Thoughts?

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So I’m Single now?

Last night I attended a great fundraising event for an organization I am apart of called The Young Black Women’s Society (great organization!). After all the mixing, mingling and networking  I found myself in the midst of a conversation with a few of the members of the organization and some other attendees. As I walk out of the building I hear one of the women ( we will call her “A”) belt out  “Why I ain’t got no man”  laughter began to follow amongst the ladies. I admittedly laughed myself mainly because of the manner in which she made the statement. I instantly I thought “this is gonna be interesting.” As I stood there listening to the inner working of this conversation I heard A talk about how  she could match her friends up but yet she is still single? This quickly became a very entertaining conversation. Good old fashion girl talk. As the conversation continued   A proceeded to mentioned how she could find each of us a man. I quickly interjected with “I have a boyfriend” Her response “girl you single…i don’t see no ring on that finger” ummm so having a boyfriend means I am single?!

This is not the first time I heard such a reference. For some the idea of being in a committed relationship means nothing until you get married. Why is that? Why can’t pure respect be had for someone with a boyfriend or a girlfriend? What happens when one cheats in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship? Does the cheating not matter since they are not married? Call me old fashion because to me one should consider their relationship as more than “nothing” even if they have not walked down the aisle to say “I do.”

What are your thoughts? Does a relationship not equate to anything until you are married?

A Step in the right direction

conference-room-with-tv-1419673-mAs I am walking downtown to work this past week I noticed a financial company in the midst of a meeting (the meeting is on the first floor with glass windows very easy to see inside). As I pass by I noticed very quickly the disporportion in numbers of men vs. women. I wasn’t all that surprised since I work in the financial district and the majority of people you will see in this area are men. Despite this I was still puzzled by the fact that out of a room of approximately twenty five people 6 were women and out of that number 1 was an African American women.

At that point I started thinking about Sheryl Sandberg’s book “Lean In” and felt proud to see women “leaning in” granted the numbers are still disporportionate and the work to be done for equality in the workplace between men and women is still so ever present, but getting a chance to see women sitting at the main table was a small victory which in turn gave me a little pep in my own step as I continued working to work this morning.

-The Everyday Chronicles continues………

Question of the Day

What is it about warm weather that makes people become more “willing” to explore? By explore I mean dating and relationships. I am sure we have all noticed that during the more colder months men and women aren’t too willing to explore and see what else is out there. Fast forward to April-August and people come from under the covers and branch out to the outdoors. Thoughts?